Planes, trains & automobiles…

Ok, so we didn’t actually take a plane or a train but getting to Bangkok was just one of those trips that you can brag about in travel folklore. 

We did lots of research into the best way to get from Samui to Bangkok.  We could take the easy option – ie about 45 mins of flying for about $90 each; or we could do a combined ticket which includes a pickup from the hotel in a minibus, ferry to the mainland, bus back to the bus station and then coach or train to Bangkok.  We decided to go with the coach as it would end up costing about $20 each for the whole combined ticket (hey don’t act surprised – we might not be accountants any more but we still add every little thing up!!)

So, as were to discover, once they have your money you are there’s and there is no escape and a lesson in patience is delivered!  The minibus part went ok – he dropped us off at the pier and we were waved in the general direction of the sea along with about 100 other backpackers (ie the real type – about 20, some with dreadlocks etc).  Eventually herded onto the boat which wasn’t very big and off we went.  The last few days had been stormy and so it was pretty rough – although none of us managed to get sick thank goodness – I was extemely glad to get off though.  Once we got off the fun started.  We were herded into groups (Lonely Planet does make reference to this being such a well-worn backpackers track that it is like cattle) for the airport, for train and then for Phuket bus and Bangkok bus.  They didn’t explain this all at once though – we all stood around completely bewildered and whenever a coach turned up, a man would yell “Airport!  Airport!  Get on bus!” and so on and so forth until there were only a few of us left.  About an hour later the Bangkok bus turned up and we got on, praying that this wasn’t the bus we would be spending the night on as it was disgusting!  Paul quickly asked and they said no we would be changing buses.

We were starting to wonder how this was all going to work out – when we bought the ticket they told us that it would take 17 hours from Samui all the way to Bangkok.  We now knew that some of those hours were going to be sitting around wondering what the heck was going on!  Little did we know!

Firstly, we were deposited at a sort of bus station (and I use that term very loosely because none of us can think of a term to describe it).  It was basically just out in the bush where they had a shop and seating where you had no option but to buy their food and wait around (and pay to use their toilets or if you were really keen pay 15B “You have bath”).  Umm – Yuck!  I have taken some photos – all that was missing were some chooks to run around in the dirt around our feet!

So we waited here for about an hour & a half and then they were yelling at us to get back on the same bus.  Once again, Paul checked that we were definately not going to Bangkok on this bus.  No, no not this one.

We drove for about 10 minutes and were dumped at yet another cafe type place – this one a real cafe.  By this stage, us and all the other backpackers were wondering what the heck was going on and there were a few disgruntled punters I can tell you!  We were all sick of hauling our backpacks on and off the bus.  So we all dumped them down again – the guy from the cafe tried to get us to buy food but everyone had already eaten at the other place – so he busied himself with making sure we all had little Bangkok stickers.  Some people had white stickers and fewer, like us had red.  Nobody had any idea what the difference was.  Paul asked this guy what time the bus was going to leave and he said 7pm.   On our ticket it said 6pm. 

7pm came and went and it started raining, so everyone hauled their backpacks in under cover – several were laughing by now because it was just so ridiculous!

A couple of minibuses turned up and our ticketing guy picked out several people to go on them – we still don’t know where they went to.  One of the other backpackers asked what time the bus was coming – he was told 8pm!  We were pretty sure if it didn’t come at 8 there was going to be a lynching!

So, eventually about another hour later, this double coach turns up.  The ticketing guy says “Only white stickers get on bus”.  We had red so we weren’t sure what was going on.  He kept yelling about only white stickers but a whole bunch of backpackers just jammed straight for the bus and the last thing we heard him yelling was “Ok everybody on bus”!

It didn’t seem to matter, we all had seats and we settled in for the trip ahead – finally.  Once we got started it was fairly uneventful – just your typical vertical sleep in a chair.  Not something I’m a huge fan of but not really any different from a plane.  Paul actually slept in the aisle because we were in the back row so he had quite a good night.

The interesting thing was that we arrived in Bangkok at the time stated on the ticket at 5am.  So obviously, they make allowances for dumping you off at all their friends’ establishments to make sure you buy drinks, smoke cigarettes and generally spend money while you sit around waiting. 

Commerce at it’s best!